So far we have been very lucky with Angelica when shopping at the supermarket. She seems to understand very well when we tell her that we will not buy everything she wants. For example, the other day, she grabbed a box of Smarties, but quietly put it back on the shelves when we told her that we would not buy it because we already had some at home, and that we would give her some later.
I think our parenting style has a lot to do with her reaction. We don’t lie to her. When we tell her “one last bite,” we mean one last bite. We will not come back with another “one last bite.” We also try to give her an explanation she can understand whenever we say no. In the case of the Smarties, we did give her some when we got back home as promised. We don’t always say no either. When we feel that she deserves a treat, we will give her. If not, we will tell her “not this time” or “next time.” And most importantly, in our opinion, we let her explain why she wants this or that, and not just say “because we said so.”
Congrats on being able to maintain your stand. Many parents give in to the wants of their kids (especially if it is the first one). If they don’t get want they want, they start crying. Now how to coax the the cries of their newborn than to give in?? Apres vine garcon ou tifi gater!!!
Maintaining our stand was not a problem at all in this case, and in most cases, especially if we supply an explanation. Like I said, maybe we are lucky. Long may that trend continue. As far as I can remember, it’s been like that most of the time. That said, we are also lucky to be in Canada. When she was younger, she would sometimes want something. We would let her play with it and then distract her and put the toy back on the shelves.
I am saving this for my next post, but the parent-child relationship is bidirectional in the sense that a child’s personality influences his/parents’ parenting style and vice versa.